...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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