two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
