You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
