I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
