I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
