So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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