$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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