All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
