Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
