morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
