Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
