I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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