Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
