The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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