I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
