i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
