This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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