Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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