I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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