the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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