i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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