I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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