Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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