Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
