I wish I could punch you in the face.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
