just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
