at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
