road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
