matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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