Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
