Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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