well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
