i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
