can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
