you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
