my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
