I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
