Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
