but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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