I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
