Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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