Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
