We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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