Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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