he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
