Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
