do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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