and i looked up. we had an audience...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
