Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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