Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
