Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
